How to Survive the Holidays

Mostly a Christmas post but Thanksgiving can be substituted.

“Happy Holidays!”

Eh.

I thought about how I was going to do this post more than once. I considered not doing it, I thought about making it funny, or about simply whining for my own selfish purposes, and then…I thought about the facts.

  1. Christmas has the highest incident of depression out of the entire year. [X]
  2. 45% of Americans dread the holiday. [X]
  3. The children are hyped up on sugar and LIES. [X]

In our community especially… the pressure is high. Too many closeted kids, or too many family members with uncomfortable smiles and wary eyes at their gay nephews and nieces. Too many conservative thoughts you disagree with so violently it makes your stomach hurt. Too many people who can’t go home at all. Too many people on diets or in AA. Struggling with depression when all the cheer only reminds you how “not normal” you are. Struggling with anxiety and the fear of the social part of it, the questions, the reactions to gifts that you haven’t perfected yet. Going in tired before its even started.

The struggle is real, guys.

So let’s try to make it a little easier?

Stress-

  1. Realize this isn’t going to be easy. Accept it. Do your best anyway.
  2. Stop putting unreasonable pressure on yourself to be happy. Take a deep breath, take it slow. Let the little things make you smile.
  3. Seek out the people you know you can be yourself with. Stick close to them.
  4. Watch your alcohol intake. While a few drinks may make you feel better, too much will make you feel worse. Alcohol is a depressant.
  5. Too much sugar, carbs, and caffeine will also drag you down. Enjoy your treats, don’t overdo it.
  6. Try to get a goods night rest before family activities.
  7. Keep your expectations low.
  8. Remember. You’re going to be okay.
  9. Schedule a Self Care day for right after the holidays.
  10. Keep a drink in your hand (doesn’t have to be alcohol). It gives you something to fidget with, something to cover up that expression you let slip, or something to avoid answering a question with.

Family-

  1. It’s likely your family members are the same exact people they were last year. You probably are too. This could get tricky, but you can do it.
  2. Remember that after this day… your life is going to be exactly as you left it.
  3. Get up, sit somewhere else, start a new conversation.
  4. I know it feels personal, but it likely isn’t. Grit your teeth, let it roll of your shoulders. [X]
  5. If you absolutely have to say something, be polite. Remain calm. People don’t typically respond well to yelling.
    • + Interesting fact, people tend to listen only to reply, especially when things get heated. Statements will often earn you arguments, arguments will get you nowhere. Try presenting your case in the form of a question, see what happens.
  6.  Remember that most people believe things because they were raised that way and they probably don’t know any better. Likely, they don’t want to be the Bad Person.
  7. Remember that some people are just dicks and there’s nothing you can do about that.
    • + Advice: avoid them as much as possible.
  8. If you have triggers, know them, identify them, be prepared for them.
    • + Take a walk. Go to the bathroom, wash your face. Text your friend. Take a breath, count to ten. Healthy coping mechanisms people. (It’s okay to take meds, its okay to use essential oils, its okay to have to call your sponsor.)
  9.  Try emotionally distancing yourself. Pretend your a social scientist and its your job to study how these people act in their natural environment.
  10. If you have to, just don’t go home. That’ll be complicated, but weigh the pros and cons. Which struggle is worth it?

LGBTQIA-

  1. If you haven’t read the other lists (save ‘if you’re alone’ – unless you’re not going home), do that. So that I don’t have to repeat things.
  2. You’re probably not the only ‘family disappointment’. Make alliances. Your cousin that dropped out of college? Yeah, chill with her. The uncle that still hasn’t gotten married or had kids and grandma’s Annoyed™, he’s probably cool too.
  3.  Set boundaries. You don’t have to answer their questions. Say no. “You’re making me uncomfortable and I don’t appreciate it,” is a thing you can say.
  4. Don’t jump down someone’s throat for getting things wrong. Either laugh it off, or educate them. If you’re the only queer in the family, they likely just Don’t Know. Ignorance is widespread.
    • + Also keep in mind that you might not be the only queer, and the closeted kids are looking at you as an example.
  5. If you’re recently out, expect it to be awkward. Remember, this isn’t news to you – but it is to them.
  6. If you’re transgender, your pronouns will probably be forgotten (especially if this is new, or people are rude). Take a deep breath, kindly remind them.
  7. If you need it / are comfortable with it – take your significant other or a friend. Then the two of you can laugh about the drama, and you have a built in support system.
  8. Just showing up is a victory. You can leave early. It’s okay.
  9. If they make a stupid, homophobic joke – you don’t have to laugh. Look them in the eye and ask them why it’s funny. (That’s confrontational, you don’t have to do it lol).
  10. You are valid. You are lovable. You are important.

Ways to turn your perspective around | Aka: be positive-

  1. Remember why we have this holiday. Be gracious, be loving.
  2. If you know you aren’t going to feel bright and shiny after hanging out with these people, do your best to make them feel bright and shiny. Be the cheer bringer instead of the receiver.
  3. Keep in mind that you might not be the only one having a hard time.
  4. Don’t ruin it for the children. They’re brand new and they’re hopes are still untarnished. Let them stay little while they can.
  5. The night will end, and you will go home.
  6. One or two bad apples don’t ruin the whole bunch. Remember there are people you’re related to that you actually like.
  7. Play with the kids if you can’t handle the adults. They’ll love you for it.

If you’re alone during the holidays-

  1.  Volunteer at a shelter or a soup kitchen. Visit a nursing home.
  2. Go out – (Call ahead to places if you’re not sure).
    • + Chinese and Jewish restaurants and national chains are almost always open.
    • + As are most movie theaters.
    • + If you live in a large city, Tourist attractions are usually open. Museums too.
    • + Skating rinks generally are too.
    • + Get a room at a hotel, they often offer Christmas packages. Go to the spa, get a massage.
    • + Go for a walk or a hike in a park.
    • + If you’re religious, attend a church service (attend a lot if you’re interested in church hopping).
  3. Do some DIY projects. Read that book you’ve been putting off. Binge a new TV show. Write a book. Draw a comic.
  4. Eat. You have to eat. And drink water.
  5. If you can afford it, take a trip. Go somewhere where its still warm, or somewhere you’ve always wanted to see at Christmas. Join a Singles Group if you don’t want to go alone.
  6. If you don’t like the silence, fill your iPod and take it with you everywhere. Even better, don’t put any holiday music on it.
  7. For Thanksgiving. Consider a Friendsgiving. You likely aren’t the only one not going home. (FriendsChristmas could work too honestly it’s just more rare).

Need something else? Google-

  1. How to survive the holidays when you have a drinking habit.
  2. How to survive the holidays when you have an eating disorder.
  3. How to survive the holidays after the death of a loved one.
  4. How to survive the holidays when you’re broke.
  5. More results on depression.
  6. More results on anxiety.
  7. More for LGBT.

Remember that in most situations, even if they’re hard to take, these people are your family and they love you.

Hotlines and Resources-

 

Stay safe. Lots of love,

Char.

 

A lot of info for this post was taking from The Huffington Post, Web MD, Mental Health Now, Buzzfeed, and Psychology Today.

On Scott White


Character’s Full Name: Scott Alexander White

Name Origin: Scott was another one of those kids that was named just because his parents liked the way it sounded and not for any real reason. Originally they intended to call him Alexander Scott, but decided that it was likely people would start calling him ‘Alex’ which they didn’t really care for, so they switched the order.

Nicknames: Scotty, when he was younger and occasionally still by Matt (sometimes sarcastically by Lakyn); Baby, by Lakyn; Scotty Scott, by Lena.

Birth Date: July 31st

Religion: Scott was turned off of religion from a young age, mostly because he was raised in a Fear God environment with overbearing parents. When he came to terms with his sexuality he began to lean strongly in the ‘atheist’ lane. It’s not particularly something he talks about often, but when asked he still participates in religious activities with his self-made family, if only out of respect.

Physicality: Scott’s noted as being tall, broad shouldered, and usually tan. He has chocolate brown eyes, brown hair, and a sunshine smile. Football and a general enjoyment of working out keeps his body in good shape. His fashion sense is mostly jeans and teeshirts, and he rarely gives what he’s wearing a second thought (often to Lakyn’s annoyance).  Height: 5’11” | Weight: 174lbs | Shirt Size: M | Chest: 42in | Waist: 34in | Shoe Size: 10

Sexuality: Gay. Scott came out of the closet at the tail end of his Sophomore year in high school. It wasn’t particularly a good experience, but it could have been worse. Although his sexuality caused some waves at school, Scott managed to hold onto his popularity. Unfortunately, his real problems came from home. Most of his extended family cut ties, his father decided to have nothing to do with him, and his mother never quite got over it. Scott dealt with the hurt and turned to the James family to fill the gap they left.

Scars & Tattoos: Scott was a rough and tumbley kid so he has quite a collection of scars, but nothing really eye catching. I doubt he’d be the type to get many tattoos, but he’d probably get one with Lakyn (Likely something like this, though probably on their shoulder blades instead of their wrists).

Personality Facts: Talkative, optimistic, easy to really talk to, loyal, brave, such a jock.

Quirks: Gayer than he seems, doesn’t really handle personal stress (known to be a bit of a drinker), likes to party a little too much, not particularly academic smart but common sense smart, likes scary movies even though he’s a chicken.

Skills/Talents: Athletic, good at baking, fairly good at advice, knows how to understand situations from multiple perspectives.

Phobias/FearsClowns

Favorite-

  • +Food: Hawaiian Pizza
  • +Drink: Mountain Dew
  • +Alcoholic Drink: Jack Daniels
  • +Color: Navy Blue
  • +Film: Friday Night Lights
  • +Music: Alternative Rock
  • +Motto: “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says ‘I’ll try again tomorrow’.” (Mary Ann Radmacher.)

So, if you could pick someone to represent Scott, who would it be? 

*Throws hands up angrily in the air* *proceeds to have five minute long tantrum* *slowly comes back to the computer*. I read somewhere once that the brain cannot make up faces. That even when you dream or imagine, you pick a face that you have seen somewhere, at sometime. If this is true I need the guy that ‘inspired’ Scott to call me ASAP because I am convinced this kid does not exist. The irony of this situation is that Scott has one of the most simple physical descriptions and yet…*long suffering sigh*.

Zac Efron isn’t a horrible choice (although if it were a movie now he’d be much too old for the role. Which, let’s be real, my entire fancast would be too old). I’ve always been a fan of his smile (which is definitely bright enough to be Scott’s). And that jawline. Whuddup.

Considered Chace Crawford too. He’s got a nice smile. Hey! Scott broke the hair pattern! Lol.

Not completely happy with those choices buuuut. It is what it is I suppose.


Have you ever wanted to know something about Scott? Ask in the comments!

Let’s talk about life as a student in Hogwarts

I saw these on tumblr and I just wanted to do them so!

1. What house will you be in?

2. If the sorting hat was on you and it said you’d be great in a house you didn’t consider before, will you follow his advice or choose what house you want?

(there are no other houses LOL)

3. What kind of animal would you bring to school?

4. If you were in class, where would you normally sit?

(close to the front for sure)

5. What do you think you’ll be doing right now?

(chillin)

6. What’s the core of your wand?

7. Do you think you’ll be part of the quidditch team?

(I want to say yes because I love Quidditch SO FREAKING MUCH, but I’m incredibly unathletic. Maybe I’d be commentator? Except I’m blind too… *long suffering sigh* spectator it is.)

8. Will you be part of any organization???

(Eh I’d think about it, but likely would be too lazy to actually join. Unless some shit went down again…I like to think I’d be brave enough to join the DA or some shit.)

9. Will you go home during holidays?

(I’m actually not a fan of holiday’s, so I’d likely stay at Hogwarts…if, ya know, my mother let me LOL.)

10. Do you think you’ll have friends from other houses?

11. What will you pack for school?

(Just the usual stuff I suppose. Plus, like, lots of stuff to write on. Should there be a more interesting answer to this question?)

12. How about when going home for holidays, what will you bring home?

13. Would you consider studying in another wizarding school?

(I’m sure Ilvermorny is nice and all but…no thanks.)

14. Do you think you’ll be a prefect or head girl/boy?

(I’m not really a fan of the ‘responsibility’ thing.)

15. Are you going to be a pure-blood or half-blood or muggle-born?

(based on this I personally would be a pureblood. B u t, my mother would be a muggle born and my father would be a squib. So, I guess that would make me a half-blood.)

16. Will you be related to any wizarding family?

(If we go with the idea that my mother would be a muggle born…probably not. At least, not closely.)

17. Will you be a student who gets into trouble a lot?

(I mean…probably at least a little bit)

18. Do you think you’ll get a lot of detention? For what reason/s?

(not too much trouble ya’ll)

19. On hogsmeade visits, what shops will you go to?

(all of them? Dervish & Banges and Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop the most probably)

20. Will you read Hogwarts: A History?

21. Do you think you’ll get a lot of letters from home? How frequent do you think you’ll get them?

(honestly, probably not a lot. I’d likely send more than I got.)

22. Will you subscribe to the daily prophet or the quibbler or other wizarding world media?

(yes. all of them)

23. Which part of the castle will be your favorite?

(not a bad place for a bath.)

24. Do you think you’ll be a fan of wizard music?

(honestly who wouldn’t be with lyrics like ‘spin around like a crazy elf, dancin’ by herself)

25. Will you be curious enough to try and explore the whole castle, even if you know you can get in trouble for visiting some parts of it?

26. How frequent will your visits to the library be?

(i’d live there)

30. On your o.w.l.s, what subject/s will you get an O in? Which ones do you think you’ll get a T on?

(Given that no one’s gotten a T in like centuries I doubt I’d end up with one somehow. I’m not sure if I’d have an O either though. Probably just a lot of E’s. Same for my n.e.w.t.s -which was the next question.)

31. What wizard snack would be your favorite? Or which one would you like to try?

32. Will you collect chocolate frog cards?

33. What quidditch team (excluding hogwarts houses) will you support?

(Puddlemere United because it’s the team Wood goes on to play for.)

34. What will your boggart be?

(PROBABLY THIS LITTLE SHIT. THATS NOT FUNNY PARVATI)

35. Will you stay in the hog’s head or the three broomsticks?

36. If you are of age, will you try to enter the triwizard tournament if they ever host one again?

37. Will you see the thestrals carrying the carriages?

(thankfully, no)

38. Will you consider becoming a professor in hogwarts after school?

39. What would your patronus be?

(according to Pottermore, it’s a Nebelung Cat, which seems accurate)

40. What year are you suppose to be in right now?

(lol. Graduate)

I spent a ridiculous amount of time looking for images to answer these questions with SO I hope you at least enjoyed it lol

To find your house, wand and patronus you can visit https://www.pottermore.com/ 🙂