Being an Ally

Hey guys, I know it’s been awhile since I’ve actually put a post up. I say this a lot – I don’t always have the most active life. I’m usually sitting in my room, on my laptop, writing away. Most weeks, I don’t have anything to talk about, which would explain my long absence.

This week I do.

I normally don’t like to post about personal stuff, and I don’t want to put anyone on blast believe me, but something happened this weekend that I feel like I needed to talk about: I witnessed someone being an ally.

Now here’s the thing – I’m out. I live out, everyone close to me knows I’m out, my family is an Out Family of an LGBT child. Because of this, I see lots of Good Movement from heterosexual people. My parents are my number one supporters, so by no means am I slighting them by putting the spotlight onto someone else. They probably deserve posts too, so maybe one day.

What happened was this: I was at a birthday party for a relative. An older one, so my company was mostly parents, it was late, everyone had been drinking, and someone was telling a story about their six year old boy who had a habit of trying to kiss his female classmates. His explanation for this was “I don’t see what’s wrong with kissing pretty girls.”

Already, there were comments I wanted to make, but I kept my mouth shut because honestly I was tired and most people don’t want to listen to me rant anyway. It wasn’t my birthday party, so I wasn’t going to make a scene. It was then that a close family friend rattled off, “well, at least he isn’t trying to kiss pretty boys!”

Agreements went up and my heart sank because I was reminded what it was like to be outside of my friendly LGBT accepting bubble and back into the real world. I was reminded that heteronormativity and bias starts this young. I was reminded that the people in that older generation that I’m closest to still think this way. I was a small child again, reminded to sit down and keep quiet because what I was feeling wasn’t normal. It sucked, but I was okay. I was used to it.

And then the wife of the man who has spoken suddenly turned around and said “shut up!” he argued and she quickly put him in his place, reminding him of where he was and who he was around. It shocked me, because of where I was and who I was with above all, but it also sent this feeling of immediate relief rushing through my body.

Here’s the thing about being an ally guys, it’s not always just loving and accepting your LGBT+ friends and family members. It’s speaking up for them when they can’t speak for themselves, it’s making sure you know your LGBT+ person feels safe with you, it’s making sure they’re safe even outside of your homes. It’s having the courage to say something even to someone else you love. It’s reassurance and support.

You can find many other blogs about this concept, so please feel free to google it if you want more information on how you can be a better ally. I just felt the need to share this little story. As always, rather an LGBT+ person or an Ally, please know your surroundings and make sure you are physically safe before acting.

I hope you guys have a gay day in every way <3

-Charlotte

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